And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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