I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
