Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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