I want to make a zoo with you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
