I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
