I think I just saw someone hide a body.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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