I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
