i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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