and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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