worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
did i just pee glitter
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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