shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
