dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
