whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
