I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
