He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
