I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
