Quick, to the slutcave!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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