I think I died a long time ago.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
