i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
