bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
