can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Dick very happy bro
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
