Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
