I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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