Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
