3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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