Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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