there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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