:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
