Did you just see the Batmobile???
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
