You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
