well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My ass is underappreciated
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
