how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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