Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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