we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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