I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
