The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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