how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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