Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
