I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
