I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
