You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
