I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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