And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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