How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
