so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
