If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
