It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
