Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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