I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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