I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
