Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
