While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
