please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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