An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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