I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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