But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
