can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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