i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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