Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
