I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
