As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
