another moral hangover. fuck.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
